Scenarios...Stories That Won't Happen
Smart Hairy Primates
The first use of primates is as entertainers in the zoo. Sometimes we use humans as
entertainers and sometimes we use primates such as Bonobo chimpanzees. Some monkeys
are used by organ grinders. Since our hairy cousins function as entertainers, it seems
natural that we will use them as other types of laborers. One simple function is in that in
which we have them of type randomly on keyboards in order to make sure that no arbitrary
sequence of keys can mess things up on a new keyboarded product. Call it the British
The next use is for other simple patterns of key strokes.
Since humans approve of modified tomatoes to solve the salty earth problem, I assume that
humans won’t mind if we insert what we would like to call “smart genes” which come from
another primate and which will be an “improvement” to the hairy primates whose genes we
modify. These smart hairy primates will be able to weld I-beams in high rise buildings without
falling. Since they use all four limbs, and a prehensile tail to hold on, the whole job will be
safer for all concerned.
After that we will use smart hairy primates (SMPs) for many other jobs. The labor rate for smart
chimps will be below that of Chinese laborers so the job flow should be out of China and back
to the USA. The economic impact will be huge. There will be a large demand for humans as
foremen, as truck drivers, and for any other job that would be required by a manufacturing
operation that cannot be filled by a smart hairy primate.
Even if we only pay these SMPs 10 cents per hour, the demand for bananas should shoot up
Question: How would such a development change the way we look at everything?